150+ Funny Letter Board Quotes (For All Year Round)

Funny letter board quotes are a great way to enhance your home decor. Starting your morning off with a laugh will pretty much guarantee you’ll have a really good day. We’ve put together the best list of funny quotes for you to use on your own letter board at home. They also make for great Instagram captions or photo captions for your other social media.

These funny letter board quotes are good for any time of year. If you’re looking for something seasonal, check out more of our articles on spring letter board quotes, summer letter board quotes, winter letter board quotes and Valentine’s Day letter board quotes too!

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short funny letter board quotes

Short Funny Letter Board Quotes

These short letter board quotes will have you in stitches. Or at least you’ll give a good eye roll. A funny short quote is an easy way to bring humour into your home. Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. 

  • Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…
  • I would lose weight but I hate losing
  • The broom was late… it overswept. 
  • I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode
  • The key to happiness is low expectations. Lower, nope lower. Keeeeeep going.
  • The adult version of head, shoulders, knees and toes is: wallet, phone, glasses, keys. 
  • Towels confuse me. The more they dry the wetter they get.
  • Frankly, autocorrect, I’m getting sick of your shirt.
  • I took the shell off my snail thinking it would make him faster. But it just made him sluggish.
  • My grandma is 80% Irish. Her name is Iris.
  • Dear Disney, how do I train animals to do my chores for me?
  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
  • Home is where you take your pants off
  • What do you call a gender neutral cat? nyan-binary.
  • I am a strong, educated, intelligent person. Also me: wed-nes-day.
  • Hello, good morning, I believe in you, you’re doing great, nice butt.
home is where you take your pants off
  • I wish I wasn’t so indecisive. Well, maybe I’m not. I don’t know.
  • Home is where the wifi signal is strong.
  • Surely not everyone was kung fu fighting …
  • My mind is like my internet browser. 23 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen and I have no idea where that music is coming from.
  • The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
  • Everytime God closes a door he opens a window. My problem is I’m on the 10th floor.
  • Now I clean to the music I used to club to. I’m old. 
  • I like my coffee like I like my women. Strong, and valued in the workplace. 
  • Whoever said out of sight out of mind never had a spider disappear in their bedroom 
  • Whoever is out there thinking: I’ll just get gas in the morning… don’t fall for it. No you won’t. 
  • I need to find hobbies that don’t include buying things. Or eating things.
  • Wearing all black to mourn the loss of my motivation.
  • As long as everything is exactly how I want it I can be totally flexible.
  • Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that.
  • The house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it. 
  • I dusted once. It came back. I’m not falling for that again. 
welcome to my gongshow... i mean happy home
  • How many times do you click ‘accept cookies’ before they’ll send you some?
  • With my luck, if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
  • The longer I’m home the more homeless I look. 
  • Could y’all relax please? We’re all crazy. It’s not a competition. 
  • I’ve been diagnosed as a kleptomaniac. I’ve been taking all kinds of stuff for it.
  • I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down my sock is sliding off inside my shoe. 
  • I was going to throw in the towel but then I remembered how much laundry I already have. 
  • Did you see the woman in the park selling batteries? She sells C cells by the see-saws.
  • If time is money… are ATM’s time machines?
  • I had a lot of things to do today. Now I have a lot of things to do tomorrow.
  • Not to brag or anything but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it. 
  • Stay a while, a short while.
  • I don’t always whoop, but when I do… there it is.
  • Please excuse the mess, our standards get lower with each child.
  • Welcome to our gong show, I mean happy home.
  • I would give Monday zero stars if I could.
  • I run on dry shampoo, coffee, and Amazon prime. 
dear disney, how do i train animals to do my chores for me?
  • You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
  • I don’t have ducks in a row, I have squirrels, they’re everywhere.
  • That awkward moment when you dance like no one’s watching, but someone is.
  • Blowing through life like a natural disaster. 
  • Welcome to our home, please leave by 9
  • I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
  • I’ll go stand outside. So if anyone asks I’m outstanding. 
  • This house runs on sarcasm and inappropriate humour
  • My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. 
  • Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn, then be a unicorn for sure
  • I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep a lot. Wake up beautiful. 
  • One day you’re not old. The next day you have a favorite grocery store. 
  • Me: I should buy it. Wallet: no. Brain: no. Universe: no. Me: sold. 
  • Back in my day Pluto was a planet. 
  • I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Now I just live in constant fear.
  • When my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos. Sometimes she needs a little shoulder to crayon.
i walk around like everything is fine, but deep down my sock is sliding off in my shoe

Funny Letter Board Quotes About Food

Everyone loves food. Some of my favorite quotes for funny letter boards are food related. These letter board ideas can be used anywhere in your home and are the perfect addition to your kitchen or dining room area.

  • If by clubbing you mean sandwiches then I’m in
  • A party without cake is just a meeting
  • How do you feel without coffee? Depresso
  • How do i like my eggs? In cake.
  • My cooking is so awesome even the smoke alarm cheers me on
  • You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not pizza.
  • I spend a lot of time in front of the open fridge door looking for answers 
  • Some people age like wine. I aged like milk. Got sour and chunky. 
  • It’s ok if you fall apart sometimes. Tacos do too and we still love them.
  • I’ve got Cheetos and Fritos a plenty. I’ve got triscuits and biscuits galore. You want cinnamon buns? I’ve got 20. But who cares. No big deal. I want more. 
  • I hate when I’m waiting for Mom to cook dinner then I realize I’m Mom. 
  • Just call me butter cuz I’m on a roll. 
if we are what we eat then I'm pretty sweet
  • I’m not really a muffin top, I’m a busted can of biscuits.
  • Being an adult is just having the ‘we have food at home’ talk with yourself over and over again. 
  • I hate coming to the kitchen and finding out I’m the only snack. 
  • Live everyday like it’s Taco Tuesday.
  • Everytime I try to eat right along comes Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Summer or Friday and ruins it for me. 
  • An almond and a pistachio threw a party. It was nuts. 
  • My pets are like: wake up. It’s food o’clock. 
  • Life is too short to eat boring food. 
  • If we are what we eat, then I’m pretty sweet. 
  • One day I’m going to make the onions cry. 
  • Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. 
  • I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry. 
  • There are two kinds of people. Those who skip lunch. And those who eat lunch while thinking about dinner already. 
being an adult is just having the 'we have food at home' talk with yourself over and over.
  • Give up my food? Over my bread body. 
  • Random website: we use cookies to improve performance. Me: same. 
  • Better food, better mood. 
  • My grocery list: 1) don’t run into anyone 2) eggs
  • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 
  • You only live once. Lick the bowl. 
  • My jeans keep saying: no more cookies. My leggings are like: I got you boo. 
  • Yeah abs are great. But have you tried queso?
  • Do you blow on your food to cool it? Or just hasafahsasahsfa until you can chew it?
better food better mood

One of the best things about having kids is making them laugh. Use these funny felt letter board quotes for captions of your kids or put them up as home decor so you can laugh at what a gong show parenthood can be sometimes.

  • Cleaning the house with kids is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Like. Why?
  • Having a weird mom builds character (that’s what I keep telling my kids)
  • ‘I said no’ – me being the fun mom I always dreamt I’d be. 
  • My nickname is Mom. But my full name is: Mom Mom Mom Mom. 
  • We made it through the day. The kids are still alive. Just say thank you and tell me I’m pretty. 
  • I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband. 
  • Real talk: baby monitors are like the adult Tamagotchi. But obviously the stakes are higher. 
  • Before kids I thought my immune system was great. Turns out I was just great at avoiding people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs. 
  • Yeah sometimes I question my parenting. But I also question my kids childing. 
Yeah sometimes I question my parenting. But I also question my kids childing. 
  • My house isn’t messy. It’s custom designed by a two year old. 
  • I went from mommy to mama to mom to bruh. 
  • This can’t possibly be the same 9 pm I used to get ready to go out at. 
  • Can I return my child for a refund? Nope, just stork-credit.
  • I’d love to be a Pinterest mom. Turns out I’m more of an Amazon prime mom. 
  • Parenthood kinda feels like you got hit by a car and on your way to stand up someone asks you for a snack. 
  • It turns out being a parent is just googling things everyday. 
  • My wife says I’m immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
  • It’s spicy. Mom code for: I don’t want to share. 
  • The majority of my food is just the stuff my kid didn’t finish. 
  • Hakuna matoddler. It means no relaxing for the rest of your days. 
  • I can’t believe people pay for coldbrew. Says the mom microwaving coffee again. 
  • My kid is turning out just like me. Well played karma. Well played. 
  • Having one child makes you a parent. Having more makes you a referee. 
  • Based on the amount of laundry here I’m guessing there’s three people who live here i haven’t met yet. 
It’s spicy. Mom code for: I don’t want to share. 

Short Jokes For Funny Letter Boards

Do you have a favorite joke and you’re always looking for the perfect time to tell it? Put it on your letter board. A letter board can be a cute way to tell your favorite joke and have a little less negativity around your home. All these jokes are short and sweet, perfect to fit on your funny letter board at home.

  • What do you call a deer that costs a dollar? A buck.
  • The early bird always gets the worm. They’re up at the quack of dawn.
  • My first day scuba diving I quit. Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
  • I saw someone spill their Scrabble letters outside so I asked him: what’s the word on the street?
  • Why doesn’t Cinderella play sports? She’s always running away from the ball.
  • I told my wife she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked a little surprised.
  • Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.
  • I broke my finger last week. On the other hand I’m ok. 
  • Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.
  • A red ship and a blue ship collided. All the sailors were marooned.
  • I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist. 
  • What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
  • What did the tornado say to the car? Want to go for a spin?
  • How does Moses make tea? He brews.
  • What’s a cat’s favorite color? purrrrrrr-ple.
  • How do hurricanes see? With one eye.
  • What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
what kind of exercise do lazy people do? diddly-squats
  • What do you call cheese that’s not yours. Nacho-cheese!
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  • Why are dogs bad dancers? They have two left feet.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? Doyouthinkysaurus?
  • What do you call a woman who tells dad jokes? A faux-pas.
  • How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  • What do snakes put on their kitchen floors? Rep-tiles.
  • The police arrested a piano player. He was in treble.
  • The cat asked for a guitar. It wanted to make some mew-sic.
  • What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupperoni. 
  • What do you call a pony with a small cough? A little horse.
  • What do you call a well behaved dog that loves cheese? A gouda-boy
  • What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick.
  • One hat said to another: you wait here, I’ll go on a head.
  • I just realized the number seven has ‘even’ in it. That’s odd.
what do you call a well behaved dog that loves cheese? a gouda-boy.

Funny Letter Board Quotes That Rhyme

A good rhyming letter board can be the best way to get a giggle out of your guests or family. Here are a few fun rhyming funny letter board options for you to choose from.

  • Fake it til you make it
  • God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt. But if I die, you’ll know why.
  • Why be moody when you can shake your booty
  • If it’s free it’s for me, if it’s less than that I’ll take three
  • Women like men who nod their head. They think we’re listening to what they said.
  • I’d rather be loud and proud instead of silent and violent.
I’d rather be loud and proud instead of silent and violent.

Which is your favorite funny letter board quote?

Whether you’re sprucing up your home decor with a funny quote, or using a letter board for a photo you’re sending to friends and family or posting on social media, I’m sure you can find a new favorite funny quote here. The hard part is going to be deciding which funny letter board quote you want to use first!

If you have a felt letter board or a sign at home you update with quotes, why not make the most of it? Check out more of our letter board quote articles, we’ve got something fun for every season. 

i want to be a caterpillar. eat a lot, sleep a lot, and wake up beautiful

More letter board quotes from Mama’s Buzz 

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